How Can I Handle Grief in Recovery?

Many people use substances to manage complex emotions. So, when faced with complex emotions post-treatment, it can be challenging to manage them without feeling the urge to drink or use drugs. One of those complex emotions is grief. Experiencing this complex emotion for the first time post-treatment could be triggering. However, there are conducive ways to handle grief in recovery. That includes taking steps to prevent relapse and learning coping mechanisms to get through these tough feelings with substances. 

Recovery is a transformative journey, but it will not come without challenges. If you are new to recovery and experiencing complex feelings of grief, we encourage you to seek additional support. West Coast Recovery Centers helps individuals on the journey to abstain from substance use and achieve sustainable sobriety. We also understand and acknowledge that people need as much help post-treatment as they do during treatment. 

Understanding Grief

Grief is a natural emotional response that we all experience when we have lost someone close to us. It can manifest in many different ways from sadness and anger to confusion and numbness. To better understand the phenomenon of grief, many refer to the five stages of grief or the Kubler-Ross Model. The model describes the range of emotions people encounter when dealing with loss, particularly the death of a loved one. These stages include:

• Denial: The stage where individuals believe the loss is somehow a mistake, which can cause them to isolate and avoid reality 
• Anger: This stage occurs when the person recognizes that their denial cannot continue, and instead, they feel angry over the loss 
• Bargaining: During this stage, people may attempt to bargain with a “higher power” in the hopes of reversing or preventing a loss 
• Depression: When the reality of loss sinks in, individuals may become extremely sad, withdraw, and feel like there is no longer a point to life, causing deep depression 
• Acceptance: Lastly, when an individual finally comes to terms with the loss, their mortality, and the mortality of a loved one, they can experience calm, and acceptance, and begin moving forward 

Of course, these stages are not always experienced in a linear order, and it is not uncommon for people to revisit stages multiple times. Further, one individual's experience with grief may differ from another. As such, the experience may not always fit within these stages. 

Unhealthy Ways People Sometimes Handle Grief

Grief can be an extremely uncomfortable emotion to process, which is why many may turn to unhealthy means of coping. That includes using drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of grief. Substance use may temporarily provide people with relief and numb the uncomfortable feelings of grief, making it easier to avoid facing the emotional pain of loss. However, over time, and without the crutch of substances, grief can start feeling more intense, and the temptation to use substances to escape these feelings can be overwhelming. 

Of course, drugs and alcohol are not the only unhealthy ways people handle grief. Oftentimes, people also experience a significant. amount of guilt or self-blame. These feelings often accompany the bargaining stage of grief. However, when we become fixated on grief, it can quickly lead to depression, anger, or other complex emotions. 

Along with substance use and self-blame, people may also displace their grief. Instead of dealing with the loss, they project sadness, anger, and frustration onto other areas of their life. Doing so prevents people from addressing the core of their grief and factors making the grieving process more complex. 

How Can You Safely Handle Grief Without Substance Use?

Learning to handle grief without substance use is critical for long-term recovery and overall mental, emotional, and physical well-being. With that, there are many healthier and safer ways for you to handle your grief with drugs or alcohol. 

Acknowledge the Grief

The first crucial step to handling grief without substances is to acknowledge the grief. Denying or pushing painful feelings away will only cause them to fester. For the sake of your recovery, you must accept that grief is part of the human experience and that feeling complex emotions like grief is natural. 

Learn Healthy Coping Techniques

Along with acknowledging and accepting it, you must also learn alternative coping techniques to handle grief. Some healthy coping techniques that can help you handle grief without relapsing include: 

• Journaling 
• Engaging in physical activity and exercise 
• Practicing mindfulness 
• Engaging in art and creative outlets 
• Practicing breathing techniques 

Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is also crucial. Often when grieving, we place unfair blame on ourselves or feel bad about feeling our feelings. Instead of criticizing ourselves, we should remind ourselves that grief is part of life. 

Lean On Your Support System

Grief can cause people to withdraw and isolate themselves. However, to stay sober, we must learn to rely on our support system. That includes speaking to a therapist, attending support groups, and spending time with loved ones, and  

Stay Focused On Your Sobriety

Most importantly, we must stay focused on sobriety. Before leaving treatment, make a plan for how you can manage triggers when they arise. That may include creating a list of people to call or services you can utilize when things are tough. 

For more information about addiction treatment, recovery, and how you can handle grief during recovery, consider contacting West Coast Recovery Centers today. 

We all experience an array of uncomfortable, complex emotions. Despite these being entirely natural, many of us try to avoid these complex feelings, which we often do by using drugs and alcohol. One of those complex emotions is grief. Grief can be one of the most challenging emotions to face in recovery. However, by acknowledging it, giving yourself some grace, leaning on your support system, and staying focused on sobriety, you can learn how to handle grief. Consider exploring healing coping techniques like journaling, meditation, and exercises, and think about who you can lean on when an experience of grief presents itself. For more information, call West Coast Recovery Centers at (760) 492-6509.