How Can We Honor People's Emotions During Times of Grief?

Grief is one of the most profound and universal emotions we experience as human beings. While no one can escape it, most people feel it in a unique and deeply personal way. Whether triggered by the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a serious illness, or even the loss of identity, grief can touch almost every corner of our lives. Despite its commonality, society often struggles to openly discuss grief, let alone support others in healthy, meaningful ways. 

Instead of encouraging reflection and healing, many frequently attempt to rush or bypass the grieving process. Phrases like “move on,” “stay strong,” or “ everything happens for a reason” can unintentionally invalidate someone's very valid pain. In these moments, complex and raw emotions surrounding grief are minimized. For many, the lack of space and understanding can lead them to find relief in unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance use. If this sounds like anything you've experienced, please know help is available. Contact West Coast Recovery Centers to learn more and start your healing journey from substance use and grief today. 

The Link Between Grief and Substance Use

For some, grief is emotionally overwhelming. Others may experience a dull ache or numbness. Like anything else, how we experience grief is unique to ourselves and our experiences. In many cases, though, the waves of sadness, anger, guilt, and emptiness can sometimes feel impossible to manage. They can feel particularly impossible to manage when our societies or communications offer few roadmaps for working through them healthily and constructively. In the face of such intense emotions, some turn to alcohol, prescription drugs, or illicit substances to numb the pain. These unhealthy coping methods may temporarily relieve that pain, but they come with a high price to pay. 

Substance use can quickly shift from occasional to compulsive. What starts as a means of “taking the edge off” can develop into a much more prominent problem of dependency. The more someone relies on substances to avoid feeling their grief, the more distance they create from their own healing. Further, substance use can complicate or even delay the grieving process, making an already difficult set of circumstances much more complex. The rest of the world's misconceptions about grief certainly won't help many people's situations. 

Society's Misunderstanding of Grief

One of the most significant challenges grieving people face is the societal expectation to move on. Many workplaces offer only a few days off bereavement leave, often with further limitations. Some feel like there's an unspoken assumption that grief has an expiration date, but in reality, there's no timeline. It's not linear, and people should be free to grieve however they need. 

Amidst grief, individuals may cycle through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Of course, it's not always in that tidy sequence. Grief is also deeply personal. It must be understood and respected that people grieving the same loss typically process things in completely different ways. 

Offering Compassionate Support

Supporting someone through grief doesn't require perfect words or even professional training. Often, the most powerful thing you can do is simply be there for someone. Here are a few ways to offer compassionate support: 

• Listen without judgment and allow people to freely express things without trying to fix their pain
• Acknowledge and validate that how they're feeling is normal and allowed, however messy and complicated it may be
• Avoid timelines and remember that everyone grieves in their own time 
• Offer practical help like cooking, providing childcare, or running errands
• Stay consistently present by checking in, especially months down the line

Using Personal Reflection as a Healing Tool

External support is, undoubtedly, essential for grieving individuals. However, people must also learn to gently support themselves. Personal reflection can be an excellent way to do that. Journaling can help express and organize thoughts and feelings, particularly those too painful to say out loud. For some, it can even be healing to consider writing letters to the deceased, creating memory boxes, or participating in rituals that honor their life. 

Healthy Coping Tools to Manage Grief

Personal reflection isn't the only tool that can help manage grief and the complex emotions that accompany it. Instead of turning to substances, other strategies that might help you manage the emotional intensity of grief include: 

• Mindful movement or gentle exercise like yoga, walking, to stretching can help release physical tension and improve emotional well-being
• Creative expression, whether through art, music, dance, or writing, can give voice to emotions that words often fail to capture
• Breathing, meditation, and other grounding techniques can regulate the nervous system and help bring calm during emotional storms
• Time in nature has been shown to reduce stress, elevate mood, and foster an alternative, healing perspectives 
• Spiritual practices, like prayer, meditation, or connecting with a community, can provide comfort and a sense of meaning for some

Most importantly, allow yourself to feel. Suppressing grief only pushes it deeper. By leaning into your emotions and choosing compassionate coping, you're not only honoring your pain – you're also honoring your loved one. You're  honoring the love and meaning that gave rise to that pain in the first place. For more information and support during your time of grief, contact West Coast Recovery Centers today. 

Grief is not a problem to be solved; it's a process to be lived through with patience, self-compassion, and courage. Honoring someone's emotions during times of grief means permitting them to feel deeply and without shame. It also means resisting the urge to fix their pain and instead offering presence and understanding. If you or someone you love is struggling with grief and considering seeking mental health support, several government-backed resources can help. At West Coast Recovery Centers, we're also committed to helping you manage your grief while navigating treatment and getting or staying sober. Real healing comes from feeling, remembering, reflecting, and growing. For support in this journey, contact West Coast by calling (760) 492-6509 today.