How Do Enabling Behaviors Make Addiction Worse?

Sometimes, friends and family members are at a loss when helping a loved one struggling with addiction. When they do not know what to do or where to turn, they often engage in enabling behaviors. What we see as enabling they see as the only way to keep their loved one alive. However, these enabling behaviors can often make the addiction worse. Why might that be? What should the loved ones of someone struggling with addiction do instead? How can friends and family help their loved one seek treatment and recover without falling into these enabling behaviors? 

Today we are going to answer the questions above while exploring what enabling behaviors are and how they exacerbate addiction. West Coast Recovery Centers is dedicated to providing high-quality, individualized care for those struggling with addiction and mental health issues. However, we can also help you learn how to support a loved one struggling with addiction. Contact us for help, guidance, and support in helping a loved one achieve sustainable sobriety. 

What Are Enabling Behaviors?

Addiction is a complex condition that impacts the individuals struggling with substance use and their loved ones. Family members, friends, and loved ones often find themselves between a rock and a hard place when trying to help someone they care about who is battling addiction. In an effort to protect or keep a loved one alive, many engage in what are known as enabling behaviors. 

These behaviors are typically motivated by good intentions. However, good intentions do not always produce the desired result. Further, they are also sometimes motivated by guilt. For example, parents may feel like they have failed a child who is struggling with addiction. The guilt causes them to engage in enabling behaviors because they do not want to “fail” their child again. Instead, they inadvertently support or encourage continued substance use. More often than not, enabling behaviors are the opposite of what a loved one needs. 

Some common enabling behaviors we often see include: 

• Providing someone with the means and financial support to continue buying drugs or alcohol 
• Helping a loved one acquire substance by bringing them to a location or going and acquiring drugs or alcohol themselves 
• Covering up or lying for someone to avoid confrontation, shame, or judgment and making excuses for their actions 
• Taking on a person's responsibilities that can not be fulfilled due to substance use, like paying bills, cleaning up after them, or taking care of children 
• Allowing or giving into manipulations and demands from the person who is struggling with active addiction 

Now that we have an idea of what some enabling behaviors look like, how do they make addiction worse? 

How Do Enabling Behaviors Exacerbate Addiction

In a given moment, enabling may seem like a quick fix to alleviate the immediate pain, danger, or harm of addiction. Loved ones may even think they are providing someone they care about with temporary relief. However, these actions only deepen or exacerbate the cycle of addiction, by: 

• Removing accountability because individuals never experience the consequences of their actions and may not feel compelled to change 
• Normalizing the addictive behaviors because the loved one continually makes excuses for why someone is abusing drugs or alcohol 
• Encouraging denial by making light of the situation or convincing themselves that the enabling or addictive behaviors can be resolved on their own 
• Preventing treatment and recovery by not allowing the person to take responsibility for their actions 
• Perpetuating the addiction cycle and dependence, which causes further substance use, reckless behavior, and a decline in health and well-being 

What Can You Do to Help a Loved One Without Engaging in Enabling Behaviors?

So, what can you do for someone struggling with addiction without engaging in these enabling behaviors? The first step is acknowledging if and when you are enabling someone and taking immediate corrective action. Thankfully, just like someone struggling with addiction can change, enabling behaviors can also change. Consider starting with these steps: 

• Having open and honest conversations about addiction with the individual
• Establishing clear boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate
• Ceasing to make excuses for the individual and even for yourself
• Acknowledging that there is a problem that requires professional help 
• Encouraging treatment and recovery but remember that it must be their decision 
• Considering properly staging an intervention and ensuring that you follow through 

The last thing you must focus on is giving yourself some grace and care for yourself. Yes, addiction takes a significant toll on the individual trapped in its vicious cycle. However, it also takes a toll on you. Consider attending a support group like Al-Anon, seeking counseling for yourself, or prioritizing self-care routines. You can not take care of someone else if you do not care for yourself.

Call West Coast Recovery Centers for more information regarding addiction treatment, rehabilitation programs, and supporting a loved one struggling with addiction. 

Individuals struggling with addiction often find themselves tangled in a vicious cycle that can feel next to impossible to break out of. Not only does it impact that individual misusing substances, but friends, family members, and other loved ones can also become entangled. That includes becoming entangled in a cycle of enablement. People often engage in enabling behaviors out of guilt or because they feel it is the only way to keep their loved one alive. However, these behaviors only exacerbate the addiction, making it more challenging to get out of the cycle. Call West Coast Recovery Centers at (760) 492-6509 to learn how can support and not enable a loved one struggling with addiction today.